PROJECT NO. 04

WHEN WE DIDN’T KNOW

This mock-up book reflects upon the issues of motherhood, disability, family and home. The images were captured during a road trip from Toronto to Miami, taken two months prior to the declaration of Covid-19 as a pandemic, reflect our contemplation of a potential relocation to the US.

I am a single mother of twin boys, one of whom has a disability and lives in Canada, while the other twin serves in the US Army. Part of our journey was to visit with my other son and reunite the twins. Our family dynamics, always intense and ever-changing, made me wonder how the twins were going to navigate their relationship as young adults, especially given they hadn't seen each other for over a year. Their disparate experiences and challenges, including exposure to different environments and life circumstances, added complexity to this reunion.

During the trip, I found no concrete answers. Instead, I embraced the uncertainty, allowing the unknown to guide me. Even now, I remain uncertain.

In crafting the format of the book, I opted for two volumes, one for each twin and each direction of the trip. I appreciate the interplay between the spreads, creating new narratives with each turn of the page.

To evoke the surrealism I felt during the journey, I chose infrared color film. This medium, originally employed by the military to detect camouflaged individuals in forests, resonated with our search for a new home, especially given my son's military involvement.